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Grotty Christmas Books For Kids

by Catherine Van Bergen (follow)
Fiction (337)      Children's Books (70)      Christmas (21)     


We all know that little boy or girl who just can’t keep clean. No matter where they are, they manage to find a dirt patch or grass stain to mess up their nice clean clothes, and they can’t help but squeal in delight at the mention of untoward bodily functions (ie, poos and farts).

These Christmas-themed books are for them…

There Is Something Weird In Santa’s Beard – Chrissie Krebs



Here’s a fact about Santa that I bet you didn’t know- he’s a grotty, grubby slob who doesn’t like to clean up after himself after he’s feasted on all his Christmas treats. Rather than wash his face and brush his teeth after his long night of delivering presents, he would rather just go to bed and sleep for months.

But there’s a lesson to be learned in this.
If you don’t clean up after yourself, a weird, growling and gurgling blob will grow in your beard! It will be made up of the food crumbs you didn’t brush out and the leftover scraps of candy canes, bubblegum, mince pies and French fries that you left on your face. It will eat up the Christmas toys and any traps that the elves set for it. How on earth will Santa and his crew stop the dreaded blob from ruining Christmas?

The answer? Kung-fu trained reindeer, of course!

This picture story book is unique and a whole lot of fun. Children (and adults) of all ages will enjoy the rhyming story, the unique storyline and the funny illustrations. Make sure you put this one on your list of unusual Christmas-themed books to read…

Rating: 4.5/5
Published: October 2016

There Is A Monster Under My Christmas Tree Who Farts – Tim Miller (Illustrated by Matt Stanton)



It can be hard being good all the time, especially when Christmas is approaching and your behaviour could determine whether Santa visits you or not. It’s especially hard when there is a monster around who keeps on farting, making everyone believe that you’re the culprit! These are the ‘bauble bombs’, ‘bottom burps’ and ‘gas clouds’ that stop dad from putting up the Christmas lights, scare off carollers and destroy everyone’s Christmas cheer, leaving one boy very worried that he will be added to Santa’s naughty list. Someone has to tell Santa that it isn’t him, otherwise Christmas is going to be ruined!

This is one of several books written by Miller, dealing with a farting monster who is happy to pass on the blame (the others are titled There’s A Monster Under My Bed Who Farts and There’s A Monster On My Holiday Who Farts). The illustrations are quite unique, with Stanton hand-drawing and then digitally colouring to create an almost 3D appearance.

Children are sure to enjoy the naughty farting aspects of this story, especially the slightly unexpected ending.

Rating: 3.5/5
Published: October 2014

#Fiction
#Children's Books
#Christmas
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