Artemis starts the book with a plan to stop global warming – a plan just as grandiose as all his other plans, and with prototype technology backing it up. There’s only one problem: Artemis is losing his mind. As someone with mild Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder myself, this hooked me in at once. A few pages later, it was starting to grate on me. Two pages after that, everything changed again. As the back of the book puts it, “Something terrible has happened to him. Artemis Fowl has become nice.” Which is particularly awkward when his new personality decides to try to improve Artemis’ romantic situation.
It’s an odd book, because the socially awkward but brilliant Artemis that is so fascinating really doesn’t appear as much as usual. That’s a shame – but all the banter of the usual cast of characters is there in abundance, so it’s still a great book. In this book, he’s fifteen.
A quote from a phone conversation between Artemis and his mother:
“It’s about your birthday,” she said.
Artemis’s shoulders drooped with relief. “My birthday. Is that all?”
“I got you something. . . different, but I want you to have them. It would make me happy.”
“If they make you happy, I am sure they will make me happy.”
“So, Arty, you have to promise me you’ll use them.”
Artemis’s nature made it hard for him to promise anything. “What are they?”
“Promise me, honey.”
Artemis glanced out of the porthole. He was stuck in a burnt-out escape pod in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Either they would sink or some Scandinavian navy would mistake them for aliens and blow the tub out of the water.
“Very well, I promise. So, what did you get for me?”
Angelina paused for a beat. “Jeans.”
“What?” croaked Artemis.
“And a T-shirt.”
Rating: PG for mild violence.
This is the just one of the Artemis Fowl books – I’ve read and enjoyed them all.